week 0 | sunday post-execution | shinssin

[speckling]

don't judge me i like this ce art too

[ the roof of the hotel is actually quite nice to hand out on? idk if we can be here but we know it's inconsequential for right now because we lose this hotel next week. anyway, despite being more tired than madara thought he can be, he calls out: ]

Shinssin-san, you there?

[ he has good hunches, shinssin has (?)-rank presence concealment here. or something. ]

Comments

it's my favorite everyone please leave

[shinssin]

[ Even without his Rank C Presence Concealment, Shinssin's quiet enough. Although not in plain sight, he was already on the roof when Madara says his name. He teleports to where Madara is, looking worse for wear. ]

... Everyone's gotta stop doing that!

[ But he's the one who teleports to them anyway, so it's his own damn fault! ]

[speckling]

...Haha!

[ he's almost surprised at catching himself laughing... but he still talks more... trying to sound carefree, but Very Tired still from the execution. ]

Yet you appear anyway, as if someone calls on you like how an urban legend does it, right? Reliability must look good for an assassin.

[ He looks like he's a little worried for the state of Shinssin though, tilting his head, curious. ]

1/2

[shinssin]

Haha, it sure does.

[It's quiet—eerily so.]

After all that went down today, I guess you don't need to ask what I'm here for.

sorry

[shinssin]

[Assassin's hand shoots out to grip his neck like a vice. In his voice, hate. In his eyes, rage.

Madara killed Maya.

He killed Maya.

He killed Maya.

He killed Maya.

YOU KILLED MAYA.]

You should understand what I want, right?

[speckling]

[ madara isn't dumb. he can see those things as clear as day. he knew because maya didn't pick shinssin to kill her,

she asked madara instead. he said he wouldn't ask why, but... but...

his hands on reflex grab assassin's. ]

Of course... I'm sorry, but...

[ he struggles with another breath to speak. ]

She asked me... to live...

1/3

[shinssin]

[It isn't Madara's fault. He knows that. If Assassin happened to be the one to kill Dahlia, it wouldn't be his fault either. Neither would it be Izaya's.

Even so.

When Madara's quick pulse is under Assassin's fingers like this, it's as if he can almost feel that he has control over his fate. Their fate.]

[shinssin]

[But she asked him to live.]

[shinssin]

... I know. Just let me have this.

[As difficult as it is to shake a grudge, Assassin... lets go.]

[speckling]

[ he nods as well as he can, then falls to his knees when he's freed from assassin's grip. ]

She didn't ask you to do it. She really cared about you, or knew that you did for her.

[ if he could laugh lightly at how it's reasonable that way (even when for anyone else it'd be nonsense), he would. instead he's coughing. ]

That's very much like Maya-san... isn't it. Sympathy for the devil, or an assassin in this case.

[shinssin]

I'm not an assassin.

[He hangs his head, unable to look at Madara. It's quiet, but firm. If there's anything he can fight in the Underground, it's his name.]

Just a guy who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

[That was always the case, wasn't it? The misfortunes he tries so hard to hide behind his smiles are seeping through the cracks. But... It was inner strength that helped him kill. Was he just a coward this time?]

... I told her I didn't want her blood on my hands, but after watching you back there, I wish it was me. Then I could stop feeling sorry for my damn self for letting this happen and keep my promise.

[speckling]

Got it.

[ he was coughing enough to feel tears in his eyes, so theirs not meeting is fine by him.

whack. that doesn't stop him from backhanding shinssin though; he can fix his face after. ]

I can't wish someone else to have taken my place, you know. Not when that goes against the request of someone else who trusted me with something that difficult. So! Even I can get angry at someone wishing they were in my spot just because it might make them feel better. Might being the key word because you don't know, and it's in the past.

1/3 guess i'm just murdering your inbox

[shinssin]

[ Madara's words sting more than the searing pain on Assassin's cheek. Something snaps. ]

Then... why don't you tell me what to do?

[shinssin]

[ He snarls, ] Because I spent all this damn time trying to save the world and died just to know that I can't even save a friend. Do you know how pathetic that is? Letting people die, making the same mistakes—there's nothing I can do to change my fate. Because I already know that nothing I do will ever amount to anything!

[ He clenches his teeth, and whether the next sound is a bitter sob or laughter is hard to say. ]

I guess I really was stupid to think that I could exist without that doppelganger, huh? I should just stop trying to fool myself into thinking I'm worth a damn because if I were, then Maya would still be here!

[shinssin]

Because now I—

[ I can't go on. ]

I don't know what to do.

[ His voice cracks.

Ah, he really is pathetic.

To have the death of a girl he barely knows affect him this much. To be scolded by a boy who's stronger than he could have been when she was here...

Some Heroic Spirit he is. ]

I don't know what to do...